


Terrified

by yurimaxwell



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:29:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24382075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yurimaxwell/pseuds/yurimaxwell
Summary: Eriol moves back to Japan and becomes friends with Tomoyo. He was willing to be all she needed, if only she will let him try.
Relationships: Eriol Hiiragizawa/Daidouji Tomoyo
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	1. We Meet Again

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: CCS and all the lovely characters belong to CLAMP.

He watched her get rid of what seemed to be the fifth guy who approached her that night. This one would be a bit easier than the first four - he actually seemed to be the most decent one of the lot. He also looked young, maybe a little over eighteen. Must have also worked up his courage to approach, judging from the way he clenched and unclenched his fists. Too bad he will still end up like the ones who came before him.

She didn't even spare him a glance. A few words from her and then he backed away, blushing profusely.

Eriol shook his head, equal parts impressed and amused. The scene before him seemed to be a regular occurrence for her, judging by the way she handled the parade of besotted boys. Then again, she had been an expert at fielding ardent admirers as early as elementary school. This would be second nature to her by now.

He didn't blame them for wanting to approach her. She had always been a beauty, with her long waist length hair, pale skin and big amethyst eyes. Time had only intensified it, adding an air of mystery and that otherworldly quality that drew eyes and hearts to her. She moved with elegance and grace, making each movement a dance, regardless of how mundane it was.

It's been close to seven years since he last saw her. He would've loved to have known her better when they were younger, but between creating scenarios for Sakura to change the cards and pretending he was normal, he had his hands full. Her holiday greeting card still came in the mail every year, so he assumed that she still considered him a necessary acquaintance. And then there was also her quarterly epistle of sorts that had anecdotes and tidbits about life in Tomoeda. It was sent via email, but somehow still felt very personal, her quirky sense of humor shining through. He would always promptly reply with stories about himself, Spinel and Ruby Moon, focusing on episodes he knew would crack her up. He enjoyed these exchanges thoroughly and it made him regret not having a chance to really be friends.

He eyed the empty bar stool beside her with a smile. Looks like fate is giving him a second chance to fix that. She is the first familiar person he had seen since he arrived two days ago. Well, not that he was going out of his way to announce his presence. But still, he believed nothing about tonight is a coincidence.

* * *

She felt rather than saw the guy behind her. _Number six_ , she thought with a sigh. Sometimes she wondered why she even bothered going out when she always had to deal with them. But then she liked this bar and wanted to stay. If she needed to get rid of annoyances while at it, then so be it.

"I'm into girls," Tomoyo said as the guy stood beside her. That usually drove the sillier ones away. She braced herself for round two, just in case this was a more persistent variety. And if words did not work, she can always have him thrown out of the bar. The bartender, who looked like he could double as a bouncer, liked her and happened to be an old employee of her mother.

"Same here," said an oddly familiar cheerful voice.

"What the hell? Hiiragizawa-kun?"

"Is that how you treat an old friend?" Eriol chuckled, sitting on the stool beside her. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Daidouji-san."

"Well, you are old." Tomoyo quipped, smiling back at him.

"We're about the same age." He was pouting at her now. She almost hesitated, if not for the wicked gleam she saw in his eyes. This was Hiiragizawa, of course he would be more amused than offended.

"The same age, my ass..." she stuck her tongue out at him. She can always blame the alcohol for any perceived rudeness. She'll just apologize tomorrow.

"What language Daidouji-san!" He wagged a finger at her, making her laugh out loud. She took a good look at him as he ordered a drink. He was tall, almost a head taller than her, even in heels. He reminded her of a sexy nerd, with the glasses and tousled hair. Hot and harmless, she thought. Except that Hiiragizawa Eriol would never be harmless, remembering that he was the half reincarnation of Clow Reed.

"When did you arrive, Hiiragizawa-kun?" she said curiously. "I hope there's no…"

"No threat or problem with the cards," Eriol assured her, smiling. "This is just my third day back and still setting my affairs in order. This is not a visit, after all."

Tomoyo arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow before flashing him another smile. "Sakura-chan will be glad. Not so sure about Li-kun though. Is Akizuki-san and Spinel-san with you as well?"

"Just Spinel. Ruby Moon is still tying up loose ends, but will be joining us at the end of the week." It was his turn to raise an eyebrow at Tomoyo. "That's your second glass since I sat down."

"It's my usual." Tomoyo shrugged.

"Is it one drink for every guy that approaches you?" There was amusement and curiosity in his voice.

"Not keeping count." So he had been watching her before he approached. She didn't know if it should bother or flatter her. "Do let me know if I can help with anything?"

"I might actually take you up on that offer, Daidouji-san."


	2. Transition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to my dear Apple-chan. Happy 20th of May!

Tomoyo walked in the cafe and headed directly to the corner booth where she had been meeting Eriol for the last three days.

He had insisted on escorting her home that night in the bar, claiming it was something a gentleman had to do for his lady friend. He then proceeded to plant himself at her door, refusing to leave until she agreed to give him her number. He somehow got her to promise to spend time with him after work, pointing out that he was just collecting on the help she promised, seeing as he was friendless and lonely in a place so far from home. She found herself agreeing, amidst bouts of laughter and threats of calling security.

"Looks like you are having another wonderful day, Daidouji-san." Her day was anything but, but he didn't need further acknowledgement that he was right or she would be dealing with a gloating Eriol for the rest of the day.

"I actually don't know why I even bother meeting up with you," she said, trying to frown, as she slid in the seat across from him.

"Because I buy you coffee and I let you rant," he said, smiling affably. As if on cue, a waitress appeared with her tea and some pastries. "And I drive boys away," he added in a conspiratorial whisper.

_ Well, there's that _ , she thought, no longer able to suppress a smile. "I say you're using me for the same thing. Don't think I did not see the girl who approached you yesterday!" It seems Eriol still attracted admirers, much like he did when they were in school. I wonder how many he fought off before I got here?

He grimaced and motioned for her to eat. If she was to be honest with herself, she found afternoons with Hiiragizawa a pleasant change from her usual routine. He never got offended , no matter what she threw at him. If anything, everything she did seemed to amuse him, that big flirt. And he wasn't boring either. He always had something to say about any topic she brought up, even fabrics or fashion trends. It wasn't every day that she could talk shop with friends.

"Is it alright if I call you Tomoyo?" She just raised an eyebrow at him and continued to sip her tea.

"I wasn't kidding when I told you the other night that I want us to be friends." He looked at her seriously. "And it's easier to drive the admirers away if we are on first name basis." he added, grinning at her again.

She chuckled. "And I get to call you Eriol? It's only fair, you know."

"Of course, my dear Tomoyo-san" he said, beaming at her. "We always have to be fair."

* * *

Tomoyo sighed in relief as she parked in front of Eriol's apartment building. She was late, but not too late. Her last meeting went on overtime and then there was that little fiasco about deliveries she had to sort out before leaving work for the day. Good thing she had bought the wine earlier, so she didn't have to make a stop before going to Eriol's place.

_ Eriol. _ She had seen more of him in the last few days than she had of Sakura and Syaoran. They were still really good friends. However, at some point during university, Tomoyo got tired of being the third wheel and started spending less time with the couple. She claimed that she needed to focus on her course workload and eventually her business. They fell into a sort of rhythm where they would just meet up every few weeks to catch up. This worked well for everyone, especially Tomoyo, who found that the distance helped her with her feelings for Sakura.

Eriol had invited Sakura and Syaoran tonight. He was hosting a dinner party at his new apartment, finally letting Sakura and Syaoran know that he was back in town. Akizuki-san was also expected to fly in from England at some time today, so it would be a reunion of sorts.

It would be interesting to see what his place looked like. She was half-expecting him to buy an old mansion, reminiscent of the house he stayed in when he was last in Japan. But he opted for a regular two bedroom apartment. He had been dragging her off after work to shop, claiming he needed an artistic eye to help him choose items for the house and only the expertise of Daidouji Tomoyo would do. It of course evolved into a game of who could pick out the most atrocious item in each of the places they had been to. She had never laughed that much in years.

Eriol was supposed to be a stranger, a friend of a friend, an acquaintance at most. They had exchanged emails over the years and of course there was that thing about the cards. But she did not expect the easy familiarity, the sense of camaraderie she felt when with him. He had only been in town a week, but it felt like they had been friends for far longer. They had a lot more in common than she thought. And she really did have a good time with him.

She let out a shaky breath as she stood in front of his door, wine in hand. She rang the bell and immediately heard commotion from within.

"Good evening Tomoyo-saaaaan!" Nakura yelled flinging the door wide open before she threw herself at Tomoyo. "You are soooo beautiful! Master would be thrilled!"

Tomoyo laughed as she hugged the moon guardian.

"Nakuru, stop squeezing her. Our guest needs to breathe." Eriol flashed her a warm smile. Nakuru had immediately let her go and skipped back inside the house. "Please come in Tomoyo-san. Sakura-chan and my cute descendant is in the kitchen."

Tomoyo chuckled at the reference to Syaoran.  _ Some things never change. _

"Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura gave her a big hug as soon as she entered the kitchen. Syaoran smiled at her and glared at Eriol.  _ Indeed, some things never change. _

Dinner was a boisterous affair. Sakura and Eriol exchanged Tomoeda updates like gossipping housewives. Syaoran alternated between smiling at his girlfriend and glaring at Eriol. Nakuru managed to stuff some cake into Spinel, which resulted in more laughing as the winged guardian flew in circles around them. Tomoyo smiled at everyone and took a lot of pictures.

Sometime much later, Syaoran and Sakura said their farewells, armed with sweets for Kero and a promise to do this again soon. Tomoyo offered to help tidy up a bit before she left and soon it was just her and Eriol in the living room.

"That was fun," he said, sitting beside her on the couch.

"It was." Tomoyo said, turning a bit to face him. "You did not mention that we have been seeing each other."

"You did not mention it either," he pointed out, smiling at her. He stared at her for a while, eyes probing. "If you want, it can be our little secret."

She looked away. "It doesn't have to be a secret," she said softly.

Eriol nodded.  _ But no need to announce either. _ "More wine?"

She shook her head as she stood up. "I'm driving. Actually, I should get going too."

"You can always stay. I have a big bed." Eriol offered, smiling mischievously, as he walked her to the door.

"I bet," Tomoyo replied drily. "Thank you for the dinner, Eriol. I had fun."

"You're welcome Tomoyo. I did too. I'll see you soon."


	3. Friendly Favors

_Where are you?_

_I need help._

_Can you drop by my studio?_

Eriol stared at the messages that popped up one after the other. Better reply before Tomoyo starts messaging him in bold letters. If there's one thing he learned in the last few months they had been friends, it was that she was not as patient as he thought. Or he might be the exception? She seemed to be patient enough with everyone else.

_On my way, princess!_

* * *

He walked in the doors of the Urban Magic boutique and waved to the staff currently at the counter. His presence at the store Tomoyo owned initially opened up a lot of questions from her all female staff. They were not used to their boss having visitors in the office, especially one that looked like Eriol. But now, they were used to him dropping by every now and then. The staff waved back and pointed to the door at the back that he knew led to Tomoyo's office and studio.

He saw her right away, hair up in a no nonsense bun and seriously discussing light set-up with another staff. She quickly pulled him to her office as soon as she saw him.

"Take your shirt off." she said, walking to the clothes rack that lined one wall of the spacious office.

"Oh my, aren't we forward Tomoyo-chan?"

She chuckled as she walked to him, a couple of clothes in her hand. "My model decided it was a good idea to hit on his boss, so I had to send him packing. That was earlier, and the shoot is in less than an hour. I need a model Eriol-kun!" She flashed him a big smile. "Please?"

"I know you find me devilishly handsome, but I'm afraid I must decline Tomoyo-chan."

She pouted at him. "I thought we're friends?"

He groaned inwardly. So she was using _that_ card. Now he knew what Sakura must've felt all those years.

"Look, I promise to use only profile shots! You'd be looking away from the camera at all times! And I will be taking the pictures myself! Please?"

She already got him with the pout. But she didn't have to know that.

"Oh alright. But I get to veto what you choose." Tomoyo nodded. "And you owe me a favor! A big one."

"Of course, Eriol-kun. You get a favor and a premium."

"And ice cream too."

"Yes, and ice cream right after the shoot." Tomoyo said patting his arm. "Now get dressed," she said, pushing him to the changing screen.

* * *

"Where did you get him Daidouji-sama? He's gorgeous." Ayumi, Tomoyo's assistant was clicking through the photos from earlier's shoot.

"He's a friend from school."

"How come you only have hot friends? The two brunettes who dropped by once also looked like they could pose for a magazine."

Tomoyo chuckled. "Sakura was actually my first ever model when we were in elementary."

"I want to undo those buttons!" Ayumi had zoomed in on Eriol's chest. "He's like Harry Potter but paler and not as hairy."

"I'll pass that on." Tomoyo laughed.

"Look at his eyes. Endless pools of blue, you can almost drown in them." Ayumi was looking at the only photo that had Eriol's full face in view. He was leaning forward on a bench, face serious, eyes intently staring at the camera. "This is the best one of the lot. Too bad we're only using profile shots. He can melt hearts with that look."

"Don't let him hear you say that. He's already conceited as it is."

"I would too if I looked like that." Ayumi turned to look at Tomoyo, who was looking at receipts. "Do you have your eyes set on this friend from school, Daidouji-sama?"

"No. We're just friends."

"That's what they all say." Ayumi shrugged. "And he's around a lot. Maybe he's into you."

"I know for a fact that he's not." _He was into Mizuki-sensei, right? But then he never mentioned her..._

"Too bad. I'd definitely ship you together."

* * *

Tomoyo sat on the floor of her living room, blow up copies from that day's photo shoot scattered around her. She picked up one of them, a photo of Eriol leaning on a wall and looking somewhere to his left. He was dressed in a blue button down shirt, the two top buttons undone. His dark hair was a bit tousled, as if he just ran his hands through it.

She had to agree with Ayumi, he looked hot. There was something about Eriol that drew the eye and made you want to take a second look. And he was charming to boot. No wonder he had girls constantly stalki... err following him.

She picked up the other photo that held Ayumi's attention earlier today. Her own reaction to it unnerved her so much, she immediately shoved it in a folder as soon as it was printed. She then refused to give it further thought until she was in the safety of her home.

Looking at it now did not diminish its impact one bit. The look in his eyes were focused and intense, it made her feel like she captured something she was not supposed to see. It was the eyes of the sorcerer, full of secrets from centuries past. There was power in that gaze and it took her breath away. The only other time she saw this side of him was when he introduced himself to Sakura as the reincarnation of Clow Reed. She had agreed with Syaoran then that he was dangerous.

The Eriol in the picture was very different from the Eriol who teased her constantly and smiled at her over tea. That Eriol was a friend, quirky and silly, someone she can boss around and torment. This one was a stranger, someone she had yet to meet.

_Did he want her to see this side of him?_

_Did she want to meet him?_

Tomoyo stood up and gathered the photos, returning them to their folder. She kept the other one in her hand and walked to her bedroom. She was sure she'd get her answers soon enough.


	4. Returning the Favor

"Did you have to be so cryptic?" Tomoyo asked Eriol as he helped her to her seat. He sent her a message earlier that day, asking her out to dinner, claiming he wanted to discuss the favor she owed him.

"You owe me." Eriol said petulantly.

Tomoyo frowned at him. She should have known that he would milk this for what it was worth. But she did owe him. The latest ad they put out with him as the model was their most successful one yet. "What do I need to do?"

"First, food. You said you were famished." He paused as their server brought their plates. He had ordered ahead after Tomoyo confirmed that she was on her way. "How was your day?"

She then proceeded to tell him about the new fabric Ayumi found for her. It was white and had star patterns in gold thread. Of course it had reminded her of Sakura. Her eyes sparkled as she talked about her latest designs and moaned at how terribly limiting men's clothing are.

They laughed about Ruby Moon's recent obsession and Spinel's tome of the month.

She should have known that Eriol was just buttering her up for his request.

"My publisher is making me attend this mixer he is hosting. I need a date."

"Then go and get one." Tomoyo replied, guessing where the conversation was going.

"This is me getting one." Eriol pouted. "And you owe me, remember?"

" I am not pretending to be your girlfriend."

"No pretending. If anyone asks, then I will say we're just friends," Eriol said innocently.  _ But I will make sure no one will ask. _ "Please?"

"Oh alright," Tomoyo said resignedly.

* * *

Tomoyo closed her eyes as soon as she settled in Eriol's car. Truth be told, she actually enjoyed herself, despite her initial misgivings. She had tried to stay away from social gatherings like these, not because she didn't like them, but because she found getting a date troublesome. All the men she asked had started out promising but always ended up either annoying her or boring her to death.

Eriol had been neither, thank goodness. He looked dashing in his suit, the picture of a perfect gentleman. His trademark charm had also been on full blast, painting a stark contrast to all the dates Tomoyo's had before. He kept her entertained with stories of his exploits in the publishing world and kept a steady supply of anecdotes about the people he introduced her to. His publisher seemed equally pleased with him. The old man had grinned at him and enthusiastically thumped him on the back when he approached them sometime in the evening.

As agreed, he had introduced her as his friend. But he kept his hands on her waist or arm at all times, clearly telegraphing to all the males in the room that she was his. She didn't mind as it kept awkward dance partners away. But she wouldn't tell him that of course. She'd poke him to let him know that she was aware of what he was doing, even as she smiled serenely at him, amused at the wariness she saw in his eyes.

"Tired?" Eriol asked cutting through her musings. His voice sounded lower, a bit huskier, and it reminded her of the photo of him she kept in her room, hidden under the paperback by her bed.

"A bit. But I had fun."

"I'm glad. Thank you for coming with me tonight."

"You're welcome Eriol-kun."

* * *

"I've been greedy tonight Spinel." Eriol said as the winged guardian settled on his lap.

"Is that why you're still in your tie, brooding in the dark?"

Eriol sighed as he started stroking Spinel's fur. "She looked lovely. Like a goddess rising up from the foams of the sea."

"Daidouji-sama never did anything halfway. Of course she would look like a goddess. Did you tell her that, Eriol-sama?"

"It came out before I could stop myself." Eriol frowned. She just laughed it off."

"She won't take you seriously if you don't stop being silly around her."

"I don't know if I'm ready for her to take me seriously."

"I think the real question is if she's ready to be more than just friends."

Eriol let out another sigh. "I might have crossed a line tonight."

Spinel remained silent, waiting for Eriol to continue. His master may have been an expert on a lot of subjects, but emotions were something that always confused him.

"I walked her to her door and kissed her. But just on the forehead! I gave her a hug, leaned in and it happened. She was so beautiful, standing there. I... well, she didn't run away or hit me."

"Then that's a good sign?"

"She didn't acknowledge it either. She just gave me a tired smile then walked in."

"She still smiled though?"

"She smiles even if she's plotting revenge, Spinel."

The winged guardian chuckled. "It's eerie how she can be just like you."

"That is not comforting at all."


	5. Happy Hour?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited to add Outtake.

Eriol stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out what he should do. Ruby Moon had somehow managed to get herself invited to this slumber party her new friends were hosting and Spinel was staying over at Sakura's to play in a video game tournament with Keroberos. That meant he was stuck at their apartment, on a Friday night, all alone.

He wondered if he should just call Tomoyo? It's been a while since he last saw her. By now, he was almost sure that what happened after their _date_ didn't bother her. She never alluded to it when she messaged him the following day, nor did it come up in their conversations thereafter. He was safe for now. He just needed to make sure he didn't do anything else to complicate things between them.

_Just friends._ That was the goal.

He almost jumped at the sound of the doorbell. He had no idea who could be calling at such an hour. He briefly contemplated not answering the door, but shrugged and decided to get it anyway.

He opened the door and froze. Did he just summon her with his thoughts?

"You look like a goldfish Eriol-kun," Tomoyo giggled. "Can I come in?"

Eriol continued to stare at her in surprise. She was in a long pale yellow dress tonight, her long hair pulled away from her face by tiny star shaped clips. She looked young and innocent, a strange contrast to her decidedly flushed face. "Tomoyo, are you drunk?"

"Not yet." she flashed him a bright smile, sandals in one hand and a bottle of soju in another. She carefully put down her sandals by the door and plopped on his couch. "Join me?"

Eriol closed the door and looked at her. This was definitely not in the list of things he was expecting when he opened the door. "Did you drive here?"

"Of course not! Never drink and drive Eriol-kun." She had a finger in the air, reminiscent of Yamazaki. She gave him another smile and Eriol had to stare at her again. She can give Sakura a run for her money if she kept smiling like that.

"Do you have glasses? Tiny ones?" she asked, demonstrating with her fingers what she meant, as she walked in the direction of his kitchen. She was still walking straight, so that was good.

He somehow managed to get her to sit on the stool by the kitchen counter. She peered at the bottle, her face inches from the glass. "This bottle is pretty. It's green."

Eriol just nodded as he handed her a shot glass. Of course she liked green.

"Are we friends Eriol-kun?"

"We are friends Tomoyo-chan."

"Good," she said raising her glass. "Because soju is better with friends."

* * *

Eriol swirled the clear liquid in his glass. He had tried to dissuade Tomoyo from finishing the bottle she brought, especially after she told him that she just came from drinking sake at this hole in the wall she discovered a few blocks from his apartment. Her story about how she found it wasn't clear, but after a few bottles, she decided that she wanted soju too since they were both essentially rice wine anyway. He didn't know how she came up with the idea that mixing liquor was a good idea.

A couple of shots after, she stood up and started rummaging through his pantry. He nearly fell off his stool in alarm when she squealed excitedly. "Squid strips! You have squid strips!"

She quickly opened the bag, popped a handful in her mouth, closed her eyes and moaned.

"If I knew you liked it that much, I would've sent you some for your birthday." He grinned at her. "We always get that for Spinel."

"Spinel-san is wonderful!" Tomoyo declared, raising her glass, before downing her drink in one go. Eriol grimaced. He had tried his best to pace himself, knowing full well that at least one of them had to be able to think straight. It had to be him since Tomoyo clearly had a death wish. She had somehow managed to finish more than half of the bottle on her own and was now grabbing the glass in his hands to finish it off as well.

"There! All done Eriol-kun!" she said, smiling at the empty bottle as she clapped her hands in glee. She then pulled him to his feet and put her arms around his neck. "Now we dance."

"Did you want music?" Eriol asked as he put his hands on her waist and started swaying with her. He didn't think he'd be able to hold her again so close, so soon.

"There **is** music, Eriol-kun. It plays when you hold me like this."

He had to agree. Nothing and everything made sense when she was with him.

He felt her shift in his arms. They were now almost hugging, her head close to his chest. "I don't want to go home," she whispered.

"It's alright if you stay," Eriol murmured. He felt the shift in her mood and somehow he knew, the mask was off.

She clung to him as she started to cry, big silent sobs that racked her body and made him feel helpless and inadequate. He wanted to protect her from whatever it was that was making her cry, but he had no idea what brought this on. So he just held her close and assured her that he was there and that she won't be alone.

Soon her sobs died down and he felt her lean weakly against him. He then picked her up and carried her into his room. He gently laid her on his bed and arranged the pillows and blankets around her. She already had her eyes closed.

"Good night Tomoyo," he whispered as she brushed her hair away from her face, fighting the urge to kiss her again. He stood up and was surprised to feel her hand on her arm.

"Please..." Her purple eyes were open now, a pleading look on her face. "Don't go."

He hesitated, but sat beside her on the bed. She tugged on his arm again. "Hold me?"

He felt his breath catch. He was sure he would regret this tomorrow. But for now...

He lay down on the bed beside her and pulled her into his arms.

_Regret could wait._

* * *

**OUTTAKE: Lime Content. You have been warned.**

If he thought holding her close as they danced was difficult, holding her as she slept was torture. There was something about the thought that she was in his bed that simply blew his mind and drove his body crazy. 

He was almost thankful that her face was buried in his neck. If he was spooned against her, he would not be able to hide the definite proof of his arousal. 

He would have to take care of it before he went to sleep. He was afraid that his body would take over and sleep-hump her while his brain was half asleep. That would be difficult to explain in the morning. That is, if he would survive till morning. 

Tomoyo shifted and burrowed closer. She now had an arm around his waist and he could feel her soft lips press near his jaw. He felt a punch of desire go through him as those lips continued to move. She was now trailing kisses down his neck. 

He tried to put some distance between them as he cursed in his head. _Is she trying to kill him?_

He looked at her and froze as blue met violet eyes. She was looking at him intently, eyes half lidded with sleep and was that... desire? 

"To..." he started to say but was cut off by her lips on his. 

He had always imagined this in his head. But he never expected this level of heat as her lips moved against his. She had her fingers all tangled up in his hair. He felt her lips part for him and the kiss deepened, his tongue moving against hers. She continued to kiss him passionately alternating between his lips and his neck. He knew he had to stop, but it's getting so he couldn't think straight. 

"Tomoyo..." he breathed. "We have to stop." 

"No." She leaned in again and bit his lip, making him groan. 

"I won't be able to stop..." 

"Then don't." She was almost on top of him now, her thigh pressing deliciously against him. 

Eriol made a strangled sound as she kissed her way down his chest, undoing buttons as she went along. He was panting heavily, very close to losing control when he suddenly realized that Tomoyo had stopped her descent. 

She had managed to undo all the buttons and now had her cheek pressed against his stomach, eyes closed in sleep. 

Eriol cursed. _Why was morning so far away?_


	6. Aftermath

Tomoyo grimaced as she felt the familiar pounding in her head. She had woken up with a bad hangover more times than she had cared to admit. She had come to accept that it was an unfortunate result of her occasional escape from reality. Still, it did not make it less of a pain.

She opened her eyes slowly, careful not too move too fast. She knew the world had a tendency to spin and tilt if she moved the wrong way.

_So far so good._

She was still in the dress she wore yesterday. That was expected. What she didn't expect was the dark gray sheets and the decidedly masculine scent on her pillow that smelled like...

_Eriol._

She groaned. What was she doing on his bed?

She took a deep breath. It should all come back eventually. It always did. She just needed to calm down.

But how can she calm down if all she could smell was him?

"You're awake." Eriol stood in the doorway, a steaming mug in his hands. He was dressed in a plain white shirt and pajama bottoms but somehow looked like he could be in a TV ad. She should really convince him to do another photo shoot with her. No one had the right to look this good...

"You do this often." He said again when she did not reply. It was clearly not a question.

Tomoyo shrugged. Seeing him jolted her mind enough to start functioning again. She didn't know what possessed her to go to him yesterday. At least it looked like she just did the standard drunk stuff - laughing, dancing, crying...

And she had asked him to hold her while she slept.

She groaned and covered her face with her hands.

"Hey..." Eriol was now sitting beside her on the bed, pulling her to him. "It's alright," he said, stroking her hair. She leaned into him, thankful that he seemed to be taking the whole thing pretty well.

"Sorry about last night."

"All good. Though you might want to warn me next time," he said grinning at her. "I should drive you home, maybe grab breakfast on the way? Ruby Moon and Spinel would be back in a few and it might be best if you're not here when they do. We'll never hear the end of it."

Tomoyo nodded then winced as Eriol's face suddenly went out of focus. _Slow movements, Tomoyo..._

Eriol helped her out of bed and into the kitchen so she can rehydrate while he got dressed. He was back in record time though, and after leaving a quick note for Nakuru, helped her to his car.

* * *

The drive home was uneventful. They had agreed to have breakfast at Tomoyo's apartment instead of eating out. Tomoyo was holding up pretty well after a couple of aspirins, but it was better to be on the safe side.

Tomoyo kept her eyes closed the entire trip and tried to focus on plugging the holes in her memory. She knew he was just giving her space, but the questions will come, she was sure of it.

Eriol offered to make breakfast while she took a shower. He already had a pot of coffee going and was making eggs and toast.

They sat together in silence as they ate. Tomoyo kept her head down, knowing full well that his eyes were on her, waiting. She knew she owed him an explanation, and was grateful that he was not pushing.

He insisted on helping her clean up. They worked side by side, both of them wearing frilly aprons, hers in yellow and his in pink. He should've looked silly in it. Instead it felt... comforting.

"Want to talk?" he finally said once they were in her living room. He was facing her on the couch, his hand on hers and his eyes clouded with concern.

She could say no. She could thank him and ask him to leave. She could even pretend that nothing happened. _But is that what she wanted?_

"What do you want to know?"

Eriol shrugged. "Whatever you are comfortable to tell me. I know some things are not easy to say or explain. Some things, I know, can't be explained at all."

"If you want, we can just sit here like this. Or I can hold you again..." he added quietly as he moved closer.

Tomoyo leaned towards him, as he put his arms around her shoulder. _This_ , Tomoyo thought with a surprise. _This_ _is what she wanted._

But what does _this_ mean?

She shifted to face him again. His eyes were already on her, waiting.

"Sometimes, it gets... lonely." Tomoyo looked down as Eriol held both her hands. How can she explain? It was not something she had to put into words before but had felt for most of her life. "I have a lot of people who care for me, I know. But..."

"They don't really see you. They just see what they want to see." she looked at him in shock. _How did he know?_

" **I** am familiar with wanting to be seen for who I am and not for who they want me to be, or in my case, who I was." He looked really young and sad.

"I don't care about Clow Reed!"

"I know. And that is why I like being with you. You see me as **me**."

He lifted her hands to his lips, and she felt a shudder go through her. "I see you as **you**. You don't have to prove or hide anything. You can be as weird or crazy as you want. You can laugh or cry or shout as much as you want. I won't mind." Eriol pulled her into a hug as her tears started to fall. "I will always be here for you, Tomoyo."

She nodded, hugging him back. "And you can do the same with me. I will always be here for you too Eriol."

* * *

Tomoyo yawned and nearly screamed when she saw blue eyes staring at her in the dark.

"You almost gave me a heart attack!" she said, frowning. They were both on her bed, facing each other.

"You asked me to stay with you," he chuckled. She remembered that she wanted to take a nap after lunch.

"I remember. I just didn't expect to wake up with you so close." Tomoyo stammered. _He was enjoying this way too much_ , she thought.

"It's almost time to get up anyway." he said as he sat up. "I already made reservations for dinner, I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. Thank you Eriol-kun."

"I'll wait outside." he was almost at the door when he turned to her again, smiling mischievously. "Unless you want me to stay with you while you get dressed too."

He closed the door, laughing, when Tomoyo threw a pillow at him.


	7. Intervention

Tomoyo scanned the dimly lit restaurant, and smiled as she caught sight of Sakura's beaming face and Syaoran's scowl. It had been more than two months since the dinner party at Eriol's house and they had agreed to meet tonight to catch up.

She felt Eriol's hand at the small of her back as they made their way to their friends. If she were to be honest with herself, she loved having him near. His nearness reminded her that she was not alone.

"Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura squealed as she enveloped her in a tight hug. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo said, hugging back. She smiled warmly at Syaoran, as Eriol helped her to her seat. "I missed you too Syaoran kun!"

Syaoran gave her a smile before glaring again at Eriol.

"Eriol-kun I saw your photos on Tomoyo-chan's website!" Sakura gushed. "I know Tomoyo is a great photographer but you looked amazing, so professional! I am glad you are working with her!"

"Don't you give her ideas, Sakura-chan. It was supposed to be a one time thing," Eriol admonished. "I was just a last minute replacement."

"Maybe you and Syaoran-kun could also model for me?" Tomoyo asked, smiling at the couple. Syaoran visibly paled and Sakura blushed.

The waiter arrived then to take their order, and the conversation shifted into _safer_ territory.

Sakura shared the latest about the Kinomoto household - her father's project with the university, Touya and Yukito's latest part-time job, and the results of Kero and Spinel's video game tournament. Tomoyo talked about her first men's collection, which ultimately ended in them discussing the pros and cons of modelling for Tomoyo. There were lots of laughing, glaring and blushes. Tomoyo enjoyed herself thoroughly.

After dessert, the Sakura and Tomoyo excused themselves to go to the powder room, leaving a still scowling Syaoran with Eriol.

"What are you doing Hiiragizawa?" Syaoran hissed, as soon as the ladies were out of earshot.

"What do you mean exactly, my cute descendant?" Eriol smiled. He knew Syaoran had been itching to confront him for some perceived slight, ever since they arrived.

"You know what I mean. I don't want her part of your games."

 _So he has noticed._ "This is not a game."

"Then what are you doing?"

"I am being a friend."

"Friends don't look at each other in that way, dammit."

"You, of all people, know that this is not something that can be planned or controlled."

Syaoran took a deep breath. _Of_ _course_ _he_ _did_. "Does she know you love her?"

"No." Eriol said, frowning at his glass."And I don't plan on telling her either. She is not looking for love. At least not from me."

"Someone will get hurt."

"Better me than her."

* * *

Sakura watched her best friend's reflection and smiled. Tomoyo was humming to herself as she adjusted the pins in her hair. She looked much happier than when she saw her last, and it was obvious why.

"Tomoyo-chan, I want you to know that I am happy that you and Eriol-kun are together."

"We are not together, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo smiled back, calmly checking her appearance. "At least, not in the same way that you and Syaoran-kun are."

"He makes you smile."

"Yes. I do find him funny. Though he could also be downright silly. He did a rain dance the other day in the park. Good thing no one else saw us."

Sakura shook her head. "Your smile never used to reach your eyes. But now they do. He **is** your person."

"I don't know about that Sakura-chan." _It is different from how I loved you._ "But he is a good friend. Even if he complains and whines a lot."

"Good friends make the best lovers you know." Sakura insisted. "Do you think he's cute Tomoyo-chan?"

 _Cute? No, he's hot_. Tomoyo felt her face heat up. "Yes? His photo shoot, as you pointed out, was a success."

Sakura chuckled and turned to her. "I've seen how Eriol-kun looks at you. It's like he wants to protect you and eat you all at the same time. I know the signs! Don't be afraid to take what is already yours, Tomoyo-chan. Everything will be alright."

"We should get back before Syaoran-kun kills Eriol-kun." Tomoyo said cheerfully, avoiding Sakura's gaze. Sakura thankfully did not say anything else, and just gave her another hug, before heading back to their table.

* * *

"Are you alright Tomoyo-chan? You seem distracted since you and Sakura-chan returned."

"I'm alright," Tomoyo said. "Just thinking." She continued to stare out the window of the car.

Eriol did not press further. He wasn't sure if he was ready for the answer either. Given Syaoran's line of questioning earlier, he sort of had an idea of the nature of her discussion with Sakura.

The wheels were starting to turn and it was moving faster than he expected it to. Part of him was excited for the outcome. But there was also a part of him that shared Syaoran's concern. He did not want her to be hurt.


	8. The Other Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been listening to Katharine McPhee's Terrified while I was writing this, so it would be good to have a listen to that too.
> 
> I have edited chapter 5 and added a lime outtake.

Tomoyo sat down on her living room couch, book in hand. It's been almost a week since she had the conversation with Sakura, but she was no closer to figuring out what to do.

By now, she was used to people assuming that she and Eriol were a couple. She got that a lot from her staff, and even her next door neighbors. They did spend a lot of time together, and coupled with Eriol's constant flirting, it wasn't hard to come to that conclusion. But Sakura had known them much longer than anyone has. Surely she would know that the flirting did not mean anything. Why would she think that there was something more than friendship between them?

_Was there something more than friendship between them?_

Her relationship with Eriol had changed more times than she cared to count in the few months they were together. She was more aware of him now, of his moods and what his smiles meant. He had asked her to remove her mask, and in the process, he also ended up removing his. She no longer saw just the playful, quirky Eriol who loved to feed her and make her laugh. She finally met the brooding sorcerer who had memories that spanned more years than his current existence. She had been a bit wary of him at first, until she realized that he was as much a part of Eriol as his smiling counterpart. Evenings with him were usually spent in companionable silence, her hand always in his, a constant reminder of his presence and support.

Eriol was someone she did not expect in her life, but now can't do without. They were really good friends. Maybe more. But did she love him? And did he really love her in the same way Syaoran loved Sakura?

The door bell rang, interrupting her train of thought. She jumped up to open the door and stared at a grinning Eriol holding a tub of ice cream and a big bag of snacks.

"I didn't know what you wanted, so I brought options," Eriol said mischievously as he handed her one of the bags. "You did remember I was coming over, right?" He peered at her in suspicion when she just stood there looking at him in surprise.

"Of course, I just lost track of time." She lied, finally reaching out for the offered bag and promptly moving into the kitchen. She totally forgot that she invited him over last week. "Looks like you bought the whole snack aisle."

"Options, we need options." He said in a teasing tone as he followed her into the kitchen. "But we start with ice cream first!"

"Of course." Tomoyo smiled back.

Soon they settled on her sofa, bowl of ice cream in hand. They were laughing about Nakuru getting Spinel drunk so she can put on a pineapple hat for cats on him.

"And I've got pictures!" Eriol said excitedly as he put down his bowl, accidentally knocking off one of the books on the coffee table in his haste to grab his phone.

Tomoyo squealed in delight as she started browsing through the photos. "I never knew Spinel with a pineapple hat was something I needed to see in this lifetime! Do you think he'd hate me if I get him a banana one too?"

She turned to look at him and felt the laughter die in her throat. He had picked up her book and was now staring at the photo of him she had been using as a bookmark.

"I never saw this one." he said softly as he handed the photo back to her, eyes unreadable.

"I did promise that we're only using profile shots." Tomoyo said casually, silently willing him to let it go. She was not in the mood to answer questions that she didn't know the answer to.

"I didn't think you were the type to pine over a picture." _This was Eriol, of course he wouldn't let it go._ "Are you finally falling for me, Tomoyo?"

 _Finally?_ "I don't know?" She replied nonchalantly, trying her best to sound unaffected as she slipped the photo back in the book.

"I guess that's better than a no." He said wryly as he took her fidgeting hands from her lap."I've always wondered how I would tell you, you know? Do I take you up to Tokyo tower? Maybe ask for a date and tell you over dessert? Is there really a right way to tell your best friend that you love her?"

"That's not funny, Eriol." She wanted to pull away, but he held her hands firmly in his.

"Yeah it's not." He kept his voice light but his eyes were looking at her seriously. "I have been in love with you since that night at the bar. I didn't know why I had to go back to Japan, or why I had the inexplicable urge to go out that night. It only made sense when I saw you. You were the reason I had to return here." He smiled at her sadly. "It was obvious early on that you were not ready for what I wanted. So, I promised myself that I will be what you need me to be, nothing more. I was prepared to wait, even if it took a while. I have no idea why we keep getting into situations where we're forced to move things along, but I am still willing to follow your lead. We can stay as friends and pretend that this conversation never happened. Is that what you want?"

"I don't know." Tomoyo whispered, trying her best not to drown in his eyes. _Why did he have to look at her like that? It was getting harder to think. What did she want?_

"We can try to find out." The mischief in his eyes was back. "Tell me to stop," he whispered before pressing his lips to hers.

She knew it was coming, but she was still not prepared for the sudden rush of heat that spread from her mouth, all the way to her toes. The kiss started out soft, tentative, but immediately went into overdrive as soon as she wrapped her arms around him. There was barely contained hunger and need in how he moved against her and she was surprised to realize she wanted this almost as much as he did.

"Do you know now?" He teased as he pulled away, his forehead leaning against hers. He looked too damn happy.

"Not yet." Tomoyo replied, already leaning back in for another kiss.

"I'm not getting an answer today, am I?" he pressed, eyes smiling at her as he pulled her to his lap.

"Nope." She still had her arms around him. "You did say you were willing to wait."

He chuckled. "I am." _No matter how long it takes._ "Anyway, I can always _help_ you figure things out while I wait?" He said, kissing her again for emphasis.

"I wouldn't mind if you do."

* * *

**OUTTAKE: Contains Lime. You have been warned.**

"Do you remember everything about the night you came over with the soju?" Eriol asked, burying his face in Tomoyo's neck. They were spending the afternoon together, lounging around on her couch. 

"Most if it, I think. I remembered dancing, crying, falling asleep in your arms." She turned to look at him. "Did I do anything else?" 

"You kissed me." 

"Hmm... I bet you kissed me back," she said, playfully planting a kiss on his lips. 

Is it possible she doesn't really remember? 

"Yeah I kissed you back. But you also kissed me... a different way." 

"Was it bad?" She looked a tad worried. 

"No. It was good. Too good," he assured her, squeezing her hand. 

"Ahh. So you're asking me if I remember, so I can do it again?" 

He was suddenly painfully aware of her arm casually leaning on his thigh. 

"Can you tell me what I did?" Tomoyo asked, her face suddenly very close to his, making his breath catch. 

"Was it like this?" she asked, kissing his nose. "Or like this?" A quick kiss on the mouth. "Or this?" She flashed him a mischievous smile before trailing kisses down is neck, doing exactly what she did that night. 

Eriol threw his head back as Tomoyo continued to make her way down his chest. By now she now had the front of his shirt completely open. He felt his breath catch as she lingered near his stomach. 

He opened his eyes when he realized that she had sat back beside him. She flashed him a smile before leaning back to observe him. 

"You look like a goldfish again," she said giggling. 

"What the hell?" 

"I did stop there last time, didn't I?" she said impishly. 

"Tomoyo..." 

Her breath caught at the way he said her name. He was looking at her intently, eyes dark and dangerous. 

Tomoyo squealed, scrambled off the sofa, and tried to escape into her room. 

He was there in an instant and quickly had her pinned against the door. "You don't know what you do to me," he whispered against her ear, making her shudder. 

"Show me?" she managed to say before his lips caught hers in a searing kiss. 


End file.
